How much do looks matter?

Recently, I've been struck by a couple of people who had torso-only shots on their profiles. Normally, I wouldn't pay much attention to these having heard the stories of friends about surprises they had experienced on meet-ups. However, these two profiles were extremely well written.
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The authors came across as intelligent, passionate and in touch with their emotions. Neither of them mentioned anything about sex, nascar, poker, or cigars and neither of them referred to wanting to "find a nice gal" or "lady" They didn't have any extreme religious or political ideals and they weren't poly, or in open marriages. They came across as genuinely nice people with similar interests to me. So, against my better judgement, I contacted them.

After some preliminary communication, I was able to see one via IM (btw - webcam on IM is a very strange thing indeed, and I think it ought to be avoided in general, but especially for the first "conversation" with someone). The other sent along a picture.

To say that there was no physical attraction is being kind. One of them looked like my father, balding, but with the shiny halo look on top with a fringe of hair - the other, much heavier and more hirsute than I could have guessed from the initially posted "art shots" on his profile.

I was forced to grapple with my own values and question what I was really looking for in a mate. I've had to accept that looks are a part of the formula for me. They aren't the only thing, but they do matter. I've been surprised to learn that I am actually attracted to men who are completely bald or who shave their hair very close or completely. However, that attraction can't overshadow someone who is overweight or who can't construct a sentence using proper grammar and spell-check. In these instances, the positive personality qualities and similar interests of these guys couldn't outweigh the lack of basic physical chemistry.

The next dilemma was how I was going to gracefully back away from these encounters without feeling like a schmuck. I've viewed this on-line dating experience as an opportunity to work on communication skills (among other things). So, in each instance, I emailed the person and let them know that I didn't feel there was any chemistry for me. I haven't heard back - no surprise. Of course, I felt bad, as I am sure they did.

I've been left pondering this thing called attraction and how it fits into mate selection. What is it that draws us to another person initially and then keeps us interested. Is it truly possible to find someone through an on-line profile?
What do you think?

Here are some on-line articles that I found interesting on these subjects. The first talks about the science of physical attraction and the second, the different behaviors that men and women use to attract a mate. Enjoy!

Men's and Women's Attraction Techniques
The Rules of Attraction in the Game of Love

How much does physical attraction matter to you when choosing a potential mate?

Not at all	0 (0%)
A little - other things matter more	4 (25%)
It has to be a package deal	12 (75%)
Looks come first, everything else follows	0 (0%)

Votes so far: 16


Poll closed