WTF!

Sometimes you jut need to hold, sip, ok chug, a cold drink and say WTF~

For those of you have been following my blog you'll remember that there's been a guy I've dated off & on who wasn't ready to date seriously because of the fall out from his divorce.

The last few times we've seen each other I know I've been clear in saying that I was interested in dating him more seriously whenever he was ready. His typical response was that he wasn't there yet, and didn't want to put anyone through hell while he worked through his shit.

Yesterday he called to say that he had started seeing someone seriously and then claimed not to be aware that I had been interested in something more serious.

WTF?

I followed the invite of my good friend Brian who takes a much more light-hearted view of the world than I do, and grabbed some drinks and went to hang out for a few hours looking at the moon and talking about anything else but what was on my mind. It didn't make it go away, but it sure didn't make it any worse!

Stalking or just flirting?

Working in a specialty running store presents me with the opportunity to meet at least 50 people a day with whom I have at least one interest in common - running. Most of the time, I enjoy the encounter, provide excellent service, fit them with the right shoe and send them on their way.

Occasionally, as someone walks out the door, I want to follow behind, tugging on their shirt hem and beg them to take me with them. Either they're simply gorgeous and I could care less what they have to say just so long as I can stare at them for a little longer, or they've impressed me enough with their personality that I want to learn more. Of course, I will try to engage them in conversation as I'm helping with whatever it is they came in for - but there's just so much small talk you can make about wicking fabric, non-cotton socks, and custom vs. over the counter orthotics.

I worked for another store over the winter and they had clearly expressed prohibitions against "fraternizing" with customers or other employees. I have to admit it was much less distracting that way.

Recently this handsome, fit and distinguished doctor came into the store. At first we didn't have his shoe and had to order it for him. He came back yesterday to pick it up and I was secretly hoping it would be defective, or to find some other reason to draw him back again. He's leaving shortly for a year of public service in another country and I so badly want to send an email wishing him well on his trip and trying to lure him into having coffee before he leaves.

I imagine that he'd be charmed by my flirtation and would readily accept my invite. Then I come back to reality and realize that I'd appear like a stalker and would give him nightmares of being followed to South America by the running store weirdo!

I've was tracked down by in the past when I worked for a large state agency. I was charmed that the person had put so much energy into contacting me and it led to a four-year relationship. That's the positive, romantic side of the story. The ugly side is that she left for another woman and yet, every six months or so, she still tries to track me down to tell me she still loves me and hasn't forgotten about me. It's been five years and a number of email addresses later and recently she resorted to leaving flowers and a note on my doorstep. The woman is crazy and I should have seen that when she tracked me down at work nine years ago!

So, I won't email this guy, or anyone else that I cross paths with at the store - but that doesn't mean I can't fantasize about it. Maybe one day someone will be charmed enough by me to come back and ask for my # or my email address............one can only hope.

Go take a hike!

Hi Everyone~

I'm back for my first post after a long drawn out adjustment to my move. Life has taken many twists and turns for me this past month - many positive ones but they're causing me to step back and reconsider my grad school undertakings and possibly move in a new direction. In turn, I may be reversing my recent move from my house into a small apartment. It's a bit unorthodox, but I'm trying to just go with it.

On the dating front, I have to say that things have not been so positive. So, I decided to give a nice guy a chance and boy, did he turn out to be a jerk! I'll be honest, the sex wasn't great from the beginning and I had my doubts about our compatability. He was a nice guy, though, and I decided to remain open to the possibility of passion growing.

As a reward, I was treated to two drawn out descriptions of how his mother would never accept anyone who was divorced, especially if they had a child. So, me, a divorced single parent for 16 years who formerly dated women clearly had no chance of meeting those expectations. Besides that, this man is 50 years old! If you're still trying to please your mother at 50, something is seriously wrong!

One of the interests we shared, though was hiking. Over the past couple of years, I've had a hard time finding anyone who has been interested in doing some serious hiking and backpacking with me. So, despite my doubts about this guy, I wasn't going to turn down an opportunity to do a 2.5 day backpacking trip on the Long Trail in Vermont.

Last week I had two consecutive days off for the first time since April. The backpacking trip was planned and off we went. After our arrival in VT, the first three hours went well. We hiked up Bromley and back down with packs and made great time. I lagged a little, but mostly, we stayed together on the trail and enjoyed eachother's company. If only the hike had ended there!

I spent the rest of that day and all of the next hiking alone, save for a "check-in" by my companion once an hour. We were carrying 50 lb packs and hiked two intense peaks and then a steep rocky, muddy and slippery downhill. My "companion" would stop an wait for me once an hour and then as soon as I would reach him, he'd stand up and start off again. I've done a bit of hiking and this has to be some of the roughest terrain I've encountered so far. In addition, I chose the wrong boots to wear and exacerbated a foot injury, so I hiked the last three hours in quite a bit of pain.

On the second day, I suggested that if this guy really wanted to cover a lot of miles at a quick pace, he shouldn't bother to wait for me once an hour and should just proceed ahead and wait for me at the end. He quipped back that he could use the rests that he was able to get as he waited for me to catch up!

Two days and 17 miles of hiking essentially by myself was not the way I had envisioned this trip to play out!

On the way home I tried to inquire about how this guy had hiked with others in the past. He complained that he had not found anyone that could keep up with him and how disappointed he was. He then patted my leg and told me that if I lost a few pounds I might be able to hike a bit faster!!!! If I wasn't so exhausted I would have hopped out right then!

Of course, I did not stay over when we reached his house and he accused me of finding an excuse for storming off. The next day he sent me an IM trying to justify his comment. This guy is completely clueless!!!!

I'll admit, I'd like to lose some weight. Ten pounds would be great and 20 would make me ecstatic! On the other hand, I dare anyone to find another 42 year old woman who can hike 17 miles in two days wearing a 50 lb pack and who doesn't complain or break down crying! I don't care what speed I completed the hike at - I completed it and still went for a run the next day!

Unbelievably, this guy has contacted me several times since we got back to try to get together! Finally last night I explained that the trip was a huge disappointment and that it just didn't give me the vibe that we were compatible. I'm not sure he really got it. Good luck and good riddance! I wish there was some way to warn the next woman before she gets sucked in by the initial "nice guy" facade!

Oh - one more thing - I have a terrible case of poison ivy (Pete - remember that movie??!) on my arms this week because of this guys dogs running around off the trail and all through the brush for the entire 17 miles. I love dogs - but this time, the hugs and love I gave them left me with an itchy reminder of this rotten hike!